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part I: someone loves me

I kissed his neck and said stop talking.

thinking my mouths touch could express

every word he wished I would say

I woke up the next morning

unknowing to the damage I’d done

to his body and heart.

/empty expressions/ 

 

hands that were once so loving became cold,

words that were once so kind became cruel.

is all of you a lie?

/uncertainty/ 

 

I looked at you and lied,

knowing that any truth I spoke

would only do you harm.

but for my own selfish reasons,

I couldn’t let you go.

/Sorry/ 

 

I wanted to call you and tell you about all the things that have changed,

then I remembered you were just another one of them.

/oblivion-unmasked/

 

imagining me & you was easy

it was as if we never fell apart.

/we did/

 

you made me see love

and in the process,

realize I’d never been in it.

//until now//

 

while a part of me wishes to kiss you,

another screams to run away.

knowing that I,

am not the only one,

to feel your abundance of love.

/always running/ 

 

“It makes me mad because I know I could make you so freaking happy.”

It makes me mad too.

/path-to-destruction/ 

 

He asked me what was wrong with me when I acted like myself.

I didn’t know how to reply.

/unwanted?/ 

 

I regret letting you pressure me into believing

that love was expressed through touch.

there are different forms of affection

that don’t require taking my clothes off.

/impure/

 

Do you love me?

Are you in love with me?

At all?

Or do you only desire the idea of me?

I’m starting to feel like a project

/a work in progress/ 

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