My heart is hurting today.
It hurt yesterday too.
but it hurts for a person
whose no longer you.
the person I loved,
the heart that I had,
aren’t the same anymore
they’re just things of the past.
// Not Lost //
she told me to write it on paper
so I could maybe find the words
to say what I was thinking and feeling at that moment in time
but the thing was,
whether those words were said or written,
it didn’t matter.
I’d told you once,
I’d told you before, once too.
my words meant absolutely nothing to you.
you didn’t care the day I told you,
and you won’t care tomorrow.
your time is something
that can never be borrowed
there is no difference.
you hit me where it hurt,
you really let me go
you showed me you never loved me
how couldn’t I have known?
I don’t know what I did
or what you think I did
to make you do that
but now that you did,
there’s no turning back.
of all people.
“it isn’t serious,”
Then why is it that we’re talking about something?
it seems that we talk about nothing a lot,
it seems that you forgot what nothing is not.
of all the nothings there are,
losing your something,
made you go back to “nothing”
; that in reality was never nothing at all,
just a something you called nothing
to keep in your pocket.
it’s too bad that the one who stood holding your alternate hand,
never knew the secret you held in the other;
that, that something she is,
is just one of the others.
I hope you learn to distinguish nothing from not,
because I sure as hell
am not something to be forgot.
“something” I am
I am “something” you lost.
now your pockets are empty
there really is nothing
I hope it was worth it,
you lost your something.
// something or nothing //
when people used to say that their heart hurt,
I never believed it was literal.
it was until mine broke inside of me,
but kept beating
that I could see that living
was now much different
in every literal sense,
a heart can hurt
like a disease
it isn’t like a broken bone,
there’s no timeline of when it’ll heal
it’s all dependent on how you make yourself feel
I wonder how many times a heart can break until it becomes broken
how many pieces are there to break
and why did no one find out the number?
Maybe if someone would’ve told me,
I would’ve protected mine a little bit longer.
Given it a break every time or two;
like some time off,
instead of more with you.
maybe if I would’ve known how many more times my heart could break
I would’ve considered how much was at stake.
it takes 364 licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop,
how many breaks can my heart take
until its had enough?
Hell, what happens when I’ve had more than enough?
I wish someone would have told me
how many times my heart could break
but I guess it wouldn’t even matter
when all that’s left is faith
so really the question is how much faith can be lost
until I throw in the towel,
and love is the cost?
// what faith? //